There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
