I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
