this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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