would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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