Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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