everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
