hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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