i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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