Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
