There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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