He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
no you cant smoke seaweed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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