clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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