Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
