Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize