so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
