I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she was so not down for the gang bang
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
