P.S. I can't hear my feet
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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