Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she smelled like a LAN party
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
