her vagine was all disorganized.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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