Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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