I want to walk on stilts...naked
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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