Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
