My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
