fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?