the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You took a bar mat shot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
