Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
