i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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