he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
