If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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