there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
