OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
