Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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