dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
