ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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