About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
