I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
