oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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