Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize