Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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