I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
