Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
