Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
