Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
