Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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