Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
