I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize