I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
this just has baby written all over it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
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Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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