pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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