I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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