can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
