i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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