We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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