shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
