My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
