Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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