I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
