I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
