I'm gonna have a badass scar
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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