That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think I am morally bankrupt
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
